


Empty

by crmsndragonwngs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Gen, Manga Spoilers, probably AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:28:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5327387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crmsndragonwngs/pseuds/crmsndragonwngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Yonebayashi Saiko character study set after the events in ch 55.  If you've read it, you know what I'm talking about.  If you haven't, I suggest you avoid this fic for now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty

**Author's Note:**

> With the assumption that Haise will take control at the end of this arc and return to the chateau and take care of the tiny children he has left…

None of them are quite sure how to talk to one another. It scares Yonebayashi Saiko, because she needs to talk about it before her nightmares have a chance to run away with her, but Maman is not quite right, Urie-kun is scary, and Muuchan is more distant than Saiko has ever seen him. And while she understands what they are feeling, the blanket of noise that has fallen around them is enough to send her slinking to her room, reaching without seeing for her PSP.  


There is something buzzing in the air between them, the knowledge that each had seen the other fall to pieces, the seeking hand they had all extended, the curling fingers and rustling fabric as they all cried together, gripping one another as though their lives depended on it. And when Maman had finally found them, Saiko had collapsed against Urie-kun’s arm in exhaustion, and the air had become palpable with regret. And sadness. And anger.

They were still clutching Shiragin’s body, even though it had already gone so cold.

By the time they returned to the chateau, Urie-kun had picked Saiko up and was carrying her on his back, just like Shiragin had. Muuchan held her hand the whole way, murmuring softly to calm them both. 

“Is anyone hungry?” Maman had asked when they walked in. His voice was hoarse and his face had been utterly expressionless, but it was comforting to hear the question he’d asked every morning, noon, and night since the Quinx had been formed. Or at least it had been comforting to Saiko.

“Hungry?” Urie-kun had echoed, his body turning sluggishly to face their mentor. “How the fuck could I be hungry?”

“I see.” Maman replied, and then he turned his back and left them alone, trudging up the stairs as though he weighed three times what he had that morning.

“Bastard.” Urie-kun hissed under his breath.

“That’s enough.” Muuchan chastised. And, for a moment, everything felt almost normal.

Almost.

That’s when Saiko had fled. With the familiarity still fluttering in the room, she ran up the stairs and into her bedroom, before the air had a chance to sour.

And now, now that she is safe in her room and surrounded by all the things that make her happy, Urie-kun begins to scream. It starts low at first, a rumble from somewhere beyond her door, and builds until Muuchan joins him, urging him to sit down, to calm down, that everything will be alright.

Urie-kun stops for just a moment, long enough to suck in air to fuel his rage, and in that silence she can hear Maman sobbing.

And no matter how hard she focuses on her game, no matter how hard she tries not to think about everything that has happened, she can still feel Shiragin’s hand cooling in hers.

She can still feel his fingers squeeze so hard, searching for someone, for her, for anyone, and then relaxing as a deep sigh whooshes from between his pointed teeth, leaving him empty.

She starts to cry again and throws her PSP across her room, drawing her knees up to her chest until she feels all her pieces stop trying to fall out of her. 

It is hours before Saiko is able to quiet again, and hours still before she is able to relax. She flops back onto her pillow and stretches her arms out on either side, staring at the ceiling and trying very hard to keep all of her thoughts out of her head. She tries to close her eyes, tries hard to sleep because it is nearly morning and she is so tired, but there is a soft noise from across the hall. Footsteps pad outside her door and past it, and Saiko can’t help but be curious.

She gets up and peeks out, just in time to see someone dart into Shiragin’s room.

He’d always been so territorial about his room.

Saiko puffs herself up and marches down the hall, throwing the door open on the intruder.

“You shouldn’t be in here, none of this belongs to you.” She yells, trying as hard as she can to sound scary, but the figure doesn’t move. Instead it huffs and hunches in on itself, and she doesn’t realize it is Maman until he shakes his head, sending his blood-stained hair flying.

“Sorry, I know.” He says carefully, and casts an almost shy look over his shoulder. “I just—” but his voice catches, and Saiko runs to him as he drops to the floor, trying to support him with just her small frame. 

He seems confused for a moment, then arranges his legs and sits, and Saiko curls against his side, grateful for his familiar warmth and smell, even if he is a bit crusty from all the blood.

“I’m so sorry, Saiko-chan.” He whispers, putting an arm across her shoulders and giving her a gentle squeeze. “I should have been there.”

“It’s okay, Maman.” She replies, and for the first time that night she feels herself drowsing. “By the time he left, he didn’t know any of us were still there anyway.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah...I'm still on hiatus for now, but I couldn't not write something about Shirazu's death. He was one of my favorite characters, and I'm absolutely devastated by ch 55. 
> 
> Now I'm gonna go sob uncontrollably while scrolling through the Shirazu tag on tumblr...
> 
> Oh! Also! I wasn't sure on what Saiko calls her fellow Quinxes (well, really idk what she calls Urie), so if you see any errors, please let me know!!


End file.
